Chapter 3 —The Celebration of Numbness (Numbness in the Shelter of Mutual Gaze)

—Mr. Orion looked serenely at Karina. “I was angry when you said I should be grateful on the day of my father's funeral, but then you said that compared to you, who never even met your father, I felt immature.” Karina was still seventeen, while her teacher was turning twenty-seven.—

The yellowish glow of the incandescent lamp flickered warmly against the ceiling as a fragile mattress was spread in the living room, followed by a batik sarong being shaken out, serving as a bedsheet to cover the specks of dust.

“I dreamed that your father and mother met my husband in heaven. They were smiling happily while waving,” Mrs. Dewi said while combing through my bangs, with Abu—the fat cat—nestled in her arms.

We slept like sardines, sharing pillows and warmth. Since childhood, my family and Mr. Orion’s family were used to staying over together; the dark, cold hillside housing was the reason. Now we were lying down again in a distant row: Mr. Orion—Libra—Mrs. Gita—Mrs. Dewi—me—Ara. I squeezed in, seeking warmth by Mrs. Dewi’s arm.

“Mom—what did my mother say?” I asked Mrs. Dewi once the others had fallen asleep.

“Your mother said, ‘study hard, don’t give up, I am at peace here.’”

Gradually, a breeze wafted through the gaps in the window, drifting along with Mrs. Dewi’s gentle strokes on my head. Her serene whispers calmed my heartbeat, slipping a line of a mantra that dissolved into my sleep, while the full moon shone brightly behind the grey clouds.

“Abu!” Mrs. Dewi’s shout startled me awake.

I looked around. Mr. Orion ran in panic to Mrs. Dewi’s room, followed by Ara from the kitchen, and Libra who was rubbing his eyes. Libra and I rose from the mattress and pulled back the curtains. We were shocked to see Mrs. Dewi sobbing intensely in her wheelchair.

“Go away, Abu! How could you destroy my memories!” Mrs. Dewi pointed at her cat, who sat with its head bowed.

Her husband’s photo frame was shattered. The necklace and ring were broken. Handkerchiefs were scattered on the floor. Tears streamed down her trembling fingers. Her frail body bent forward, desperately trying to reach for the memories.

“Mom, enough. Don't be angry.” Mr. Orion embraced and gently patted his mother’s shoulder, calming the turmoil in her chest.

Ara picked up the photo frame. Libra gathered the jewelry. I picked up Abu; the cat was also injured by shards of glass.

Mrs. Gita came from the kitchen, her eyes wet with worry. Her lips were pressed firmly shut. Her index finger pointed to the photo frame, her palm pushed forward—lowered slowly—and ended by pointing upward. Her sign language: He—is—at peace—up there.

Biting her lip hard, Mrs. Gita embraced the sobbing Mrs. Dewi.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡⚛︎ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

The sun climbed over the equator, shining on birds that chirped messages of longing amidst the calm of a religious TV program, while Mrs. Dewi sat with Mrs. Gita. Hands spoke continuously while sewing smiles. They shared many similarities, including both being former sign language teachers. Conversation flowed around the late fathers of Libra and Mr. Orion.

No one could sleep even though it was three in the morning. Ara was still calling her psychiatrist colleagues, while Libra was busy preparing for a competition. I hurried to the porch to get some air. Suddenly, my steps screeched as I saw Mr. Orion’s back hunched, sitting on the stairs staring at the sky, accompanied by a soundly sleeping Abu and ornamental plants swaying in the wind.

“What are you doing, Sir?” I asked, turning his head so our eyes met. “Entrusting your longing to the birds flying by?” I joked, trying to cheer him up. I sat down beside him.

Mr. Orion chuckled, his breath exhaling with the wind. “No, I was just thinking if Father were still alive, would everything be different or the same,” he said softly. My lips pressed together; I was afraid unwanted words would escape my mouth again.

Idly, my hand rummaged through my jacket pocket. A mini book was grasped in my hand.

“Sir…,” I looked into his eyes. “I’m amazed. A giant Biology book shrunk into a mini dictionary. Where did you get the idea?” I asked curiously.

My seventeenth birthday gift: a book the size of a thumb, the glow of stars blending with the sea decorating the cover. Biology Dictionary: Constellation Edition. My favorite. How did Mr. Orion know?

“Just a whim to shrink the book. You’re always carrying books that are too big for you.”

“I’m asking seriously, Sir.”

“I am serious.”

My eyes narrowed at his twinkling eyes, making my lips twitch. Suddenly, small laughs flew with the wind. Mr. Orion touched the book in my hand. Accidentally, his hand nudged Abu, waking the cat who then joined us in "reading" the book in our hands.

The pages opened wide, displaying the Orion constellation.

“That’s Orion, can you see it?” Mr. Orion pointed to the sky above. “In our location, Orion appears November–March, from 9 PM to 5 AM. The timing can shift.”

I looked back and forth between the book and the sky. In the book, the shape was like a hunter holding a shield, three bright dots in the middle—Alnilam, Mintaka, Alnitak—called Orion’s Belt.

“That’s Karina, it appears at the same time as Orion. December–April, 9 PM to 5 AM, but the distance is far.”

I adjusted my position as Mr. Orion’s arm almost touched my forehead. He didn’t realize it, too focused on pointing out the Karina constellation stretched far to the south. I stared intently at the book; Karina didn't have a pattern as complex as Orion. Aish! Its shape was just vertical lines like me. Its brightest star was named Canopus.

“I don’t see it, Sir! It all just looks like regular stars.”

My neck felt sore from looking up; my eyes couldn't catch the patterns in the sky. However, it was still pleasant to spend time staring at the twinkling lights embracing the dark blue sky.

Suddenly, something wet touched my skin. Turning around, I saw Abu licking our hands. I chuckled, as did Mr. Orion. Then, accidentally, our eyes met.

“Unfortunately, Libra appears April–August, 9 PM to 3 AM.”

We both turned as Libra appeared at the doorway. He sat beside me and gently took the book, searching for the Ara constellation.

“And Ara appears May–September,” he explained. Truly, Libra’s personality was a carbon copy of Mr. Orion’s. A hobby for learning.

Speak of the devil, the name mentioned arrived. Ara sat beside Mr. Orion. Her body was hunched, looking exhausted, the dim starlight seemingly glowing in her eyes.

“You two look good together,” Mrs. Dewi called from inside, making Mr. Orion and I lock eyes.

“Ara and Orion, you two look good together.”

My world collapsed on one side.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡⚛︎ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

Two rings slipped onto ring fingers, two pigeons released into the sky, soaring with romance and love, as Mr. Orion and Ara stood perfectly together. The result of a match-making and a lightning-fast wedding.

The sound of music blended with falling flower petals celebrated Ara’s happy heart. She looked down, her snow-white gown spinning amidst the yellow glow of her tulle fabric. Mr. Orion smiled broadly in a white suit paired with a rose. His eyes met mine as my hand accidentally caught their flower bouquet.

The applause was so loud. Everyone cheered for me, not knowing my eyes were glistening with tears. Suddenly, the corner of my eye caught Libra at the entrance. A savior! Thank goodness he came late!

"Libra!" I pretended to greet him with excitement.

I hurried toward him. Accidentally, my short hair got caught on a decorative pole. My pearl accessory detached in the middle of the event, triggering laughter from the guests.

Like a Cinderella leaving her glass slipper behind, Mr. Orion called out to me while laughing.

“Karina, your headband!”

I didn’t answer. I approached Libra, who was hiding near a large curtain.

My white slippers stepped opposite his black shoes. Our outfits were polar opposites: he was in a black suit, while I was in a knee-length white dress.

“A celebration of numbness?” he asked, with a wide grin.

Chuckling, I covered my mouth. “So… it’s better for us to be busy competing healthily at school rather than focusing on romance, right?”

“Agreed,” he replied, looking at me intently.

The twilight glow played playfully with the twinkling lights. Unknowingly, we were lost in the serenity of locking eyes.

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡⚛︎ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

Before Season....

Next Season....