Chapter 6 — A Pair of Doves (Numb in an Anonymous Embrace)

"Whoa, Mr. Orion is marrying Karina's sister? That’s like 'My Crush, My Brother-in-law’ kind of plot."

A thin smile touched my lips, even though my heart was aching. I couldn’t believe Dimas could joke like that. I was also afraid it might actually happen. Considering I liked Mr. Orion and was moving into his house. Moreover, he was a teacher, and I was his student.

Feeling the heat in the classroom, I stepped out. My phone vibrated; a message from Mr. Orion popped up.

‘Karina, are you home yet? I’m heading to your classroom since it’s on my way to the bus stop.’

Turning around, I saw Mr. Orion walking down the hallway. His eyes met mine as a smile spread across his face. Truly, I felt trapped in a snare.

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Before I knew it, the wedding day arrived. I became the bridesmaid. It was Ara getting married, but I was the one having a mini heart attack.

It was a simple wedding. Only attended by close neighbors and his tutoring students acting as flower girls. Ara looked happier, her hands draped nervously. Her eyes were glistening.

Until the groom arrived with flowers in hand. We locked eyes. The world seemed to slow down. As the music accompanied my footsteps down the altar, under the yellow lights decorated with flowers. I stared at his calm face, illuminated by a dignified light. A white suit paired with a rose. It matched my knee-length white dress. Everything around me blurred, frozen in time. It pulled a smile from me that turned into a chuckle. He laughed too, and I suddenly snapped back to reality.

Ara looked down, too nervous to meet Mr. Orion’s gaze. Meanwhile, Mr. Orion was looking into my eyes. Why did it feel like I was the bride?

The reality didn't hit until they exchanged rings. Flowers were thrown, a pair of doves took flight. It was the greatest celebration of numbness I had ever felt. Especially when the bouquet fell right into my hands.

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His title should have changed to 'Brother.' Yet, I kept calling him Sir. I had been used to it since I was a child. I tried to change many times. But habits are hard to kill.

Living with them, I caught several romantic moments. One was their warm conversation in the hallway.

“Did you drink your almond milk?” Mr. Orion asked Ara late at night. I accidentally saw them on my way to the kitchen.

“Yes, don't worry. I drink it every day,” Ara replied with a wide smile.

“You have to take care of yourself. Don’t work too hard.”

“Relax, I know my limits, Orion.” Ara held Mr. Orion's arm. Turning, Mr. Orion’s eyes met mine. Startled, I hurried back to my room.

Ara spent more time at the hospital than at home. Almost twenty-four-seven without stopping. Meanwhile, I spent my twenty-four hours seeing Mr. Orion. Home, the bus stop, school, the tutoring place, the bus, the garden, home. The more minutes passed, the deeper I sank into it.

“Why aren't you sleeping yet?” he asked on a cool night. I was sitting on the porch, suppressing my exhaustion while staring at the stars.

Chuckling, I hugged my jacket. “Because I can't sleep,” I answered playfully. He laughed and sat down beside me.

Or the time when,

“Is the homework difficult?” he asked after coming home from tutoring. Mother was already asleep in her room, while I was still working on my school assignments.

Smiling, I lifted my empty book. I showed him that no answers were written yet.

“Let me help you, even though I don’t understand math that well,” he said as he sat on the floor, using my pen.

And when,

“Why haven't you gone into class?” he asked when the bell rang loudly. I was sitting in front of the library, looking for Wi-Fi to download learning videos—and just to watch the students passing by.

“The teacher isn't teaching, Sir. They said he’s sick,” I replied. He just went, "Oh."

A few minutes later, he sat next to me. “I think I’ll just sit here while waiting for my class bell,” he said, taking a math book out of his bag.

Three months later, happy news arrived. Sister was pregnant. Their faces were filled with gratitude when they told us. However, sad news came at the same time. Mrs. Dewi passed away a week after the good news was heard. Her physical condition had weakened, and we only found out then that Mrs. Dewi had been hiding her breast cancer.

The turmoil of sadness surfaced again. Gaps began to fill, and the difficulty of communication started to become a burden. Eventually, Ara stopped working. She started covering her graduation photos, turning off the television if there was an accident, and avoiding any place that sparked a fire.

“What are you doing?” Ara asked, looking Mr. Orion straight in the eye.

“I want to light a campfire to keep us warm. I feel bad for our baby being cold in your belly.” Mr. Orion smiled, shivering in the cold yard. He held the logs tightly.

“No. Don't. I don't want to smell it,” Ara said seriously. Without looking at Mr. Orion, she went inside.

Eight months passed in a flash, and graduation day arrived. I was the runner-up valedictorian, and Maya was the first in school. The teachers hugged us. A mixture of joy and emotion took over.

Mr. Orion sat in the distance, among the rows of twelfth graders. It was clearly recorded in my memory as cheers filled my ears. His proud laughter made my eyes tear up. Until my tears spilled over, leaving me confused. The teachers laughed and offered me tissues, which only made me cry harder.

Among the seated audience, he stood up. He pushed through the crowd who were busy watching without seats. The rhythm of his footsteps echoed loudly in my ears. His black shoes, his white shirt, his beaming smile. As he approached the podium, he impatiently climbed the stairs. When the moment came, he hurriedly hugged me out of pure happiness.

“Oh, so this is the culprit,” the principal quipped into the microphone. It sparked a roar of laughter from the audience and loud applause from the teachers on the podium. “When you get home, please buy your sister a gift. A big box, neatly wrapped. When opened, it should only contain rolls of tissue.”

It was a dry joke, yet strangely, the audience laughed. But not us. My smile faded as his hands tightly gripped my back. My breath slowed as my chin rested on his shoulder. The tears seemed to stop. I didn’t know—I felt empty near him. I realized then, I was numb in an unnamed embrace.

The hug broke. My face was expressionless among the colorful faces. The meaningless embrace was closed with thunderous applause. He wasn't smiling. His eyes stared at me intensely. His breath was as slow as mine.

We were silent during the bus ride. Arriving home, I told Ara.

“Congratulations, Karina. I’m proud of you....” Sister hugged me tightly. Breaking the embrace, she kissed my cheeks repeatedly. She pinched them playfully until I giggled. “What major do you want to take... what do you want to be?” she asked curiously.

“I got into an overseas university, Sis... I want to be a psychiatrist, just like you.”

Surprised, Ara ruffled my hair hard. She gave me several playful slaps on the back. She gently patted my cheek and said, “Father and Mother in heaven must be proud to see you... you never disappoint them.”

My breath slowed, wrapped in a sense of sorrow. Ara, with her large belly, struggled to walk back to the sofa. I only then realized that Mr. Orion’s eyes were glistening as he stared at me. His smile widened, unable to be hidden. His body seemed hesitant, wanting to hug me or say congratulations. But he remained still. Overwhelmed, I looked around. I saw Ara; her lips lifted slightly in a stiff smile.

That night, I met Mr. Orion in the hallway.

“Congratulations.”

“Congratulations for what, Sir?”

“Congratulations on your graduation....” Mr. Orion held his hand out. “I’m sorry... I didn’t say it sincerely at school,” he explained with emphasis.

I chuckled. “Why wasn't it sincere, Sir? I was already touched,” I joked. But he didn't laugh. I shook his idle hand firmly.

“Everything should have been this easy. Without involving feelings. I’m sorry everything became complicated because of me... Congratulations, Karina.” He looked at me intently. My breath hitched; the shaking of our hands slowed down.

As our hands let go, we both turned at the same time. My sister was looking at us with a faint smile.

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“I don’t mean to be condescending, but you shouldn't give my sister too much attention. She might misunderstand.”

I faintly heard Ara's quiet voice in the bedroom. I accidentally eavesdropped while sitting on my bed studying. The book on my lap fell as my feet touched the floor.

“When did I ever give her too much attention?”

“You look at her so intently that she gets carried away.”

“It’s not excessive.”

“You act strange around her.”

“Maybe my strange behavior is my normal attitude toward her.”

Ara exhaled. “You can't like her. It could be a problem. The age gap between you is huge. You are a teacher and she is your student. There is a gap and power dynamic there. You have the power.”

“I don’t like her more than that.”

Ara hissed quietly. I heard Mr. Orion murmuring to calm her down.

“I know you like my sister. That’s why I married you, Orion... I didn’t want my sister to get hurt, but your mother invited her to live here. Twenty-four hours a day with you. It's becoming a huge problem.”

Silence. Mr. Orion didn't answer, and Sister didn't speak.

“Stay away from my sister like a normal teacher to a student, like a normal brother-in-law to a sister-in-law.”

Ara hissed loudly; Mr. Orion calmed her again. “I care for you just as much as I care for your sister. I can't let her be on her own.”

“Ah, my stomach hurts!” Ara screamed.

Quickly, I jumped off the bed. Grabbing my phone, I called the doctor.

“Karina, help! Karina!” Mr. Orion shouted for me.

Leaving the room, I saw Mr. Orion already carrying Sister in the hallway. I quickly grabbed the car keys. I opened the door fast, and Mr. Orion brought her to the car. I hurriedly locked the house and got into the car.

Arriving at the hospital, there was nothing to talk about. I waited outside. I bit my finger until it bled. Looking up, my eyes welled with tears.

“Orion, where is my baby?”

Sister's crying grew louder. She asked that sentence over and over. Yet, it remained unanswered. Only Mr. Orion's shushing as he tried to calm her. Unable to listen to what was happening, I left the hospital.

I stood empty at the hospital bus stop. Everything moved rapidly; my eyes watched the people passing by. Sobbing. The sky turned blue amidst the clusters of dark clouds. I looked up. “Father and Mother in heaven. I’m sorry, I have disappointed my sister.”

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